The Open starts tomorrow. One golfer has a tee time, a wedding next Tuesday, and apparently no place to sleep.
Meanwhile, sales tech is rediscovering phones, humans, and the radical idea that rules should have consequences.
THE DRIVE: Criteo Got a 50% Tee-Time Premium
Vista Equity Partners and Quinti Capital reportedly made an unsolicited takeover approach for Criteo at a premium north of 50%, implying a deal above $1.4 billion. The martech M&A leaderboard is officially playing scramble format: private equity brings the money, adtech brings the cookies, and everyone pretends the wind isn't blowing.
This Week's Member-Guest Award goes to bidding so far above the going rate that the starter has to check whether you own the course.
THE FAIRWAY: Qualify Monday. Marry Your Caddie Tuesday.
Former grocery delivery driver Joe Dean grabbed the final Open spot Monday with a 68. His fiancée Emily Lyle is on the bag, they're getting married next Tuesday, and Southport's hotel shortage had him joking about sleeping in his car.
That's a seven-day pipeline: qualify, compete, close. Somewhere, an AE just moved their wedding to Q4.
"It was cheaper." — Joe Dean, on the Tuesday wedding date
THE GREEN: The Open Added a Ban Button
The R&A launched a new fan code of conduct for Royal Birkdale: cross the line, get identified, get removed, get no refund. Three hundred thousand fans are expected, which makes this less "golf etiquette" and more enterprise trust-and-safety with pot bunkers.
Every SaaS platform eventually learns the same lesson: community is wonderful until someone discovers the reply box.
FROM THE CLUBHOUSE: Volume Drives. Trust Putts.
Jason Lemkin's 10-point sales reality check says AI can send 10–40x the outbound volume, but humans still win the big deals. Translation: the robot can hit range balls all afternoon; somebody still has to make the six-footer with the CFO watching.
"We still buy from humans, especially $20k–$50k+ deals." — Jason Lemkin
Got a story tip, SaaS scoop, or an Open take that deserves a ruling? Drop it at GTM Golf Club. We'll take it from the rough and put it on the green.
THE CADDIE'S CORNER: Somebody Vandalized the Greens
This week's r/golf outrage thread is titled "What the fuh is the matter with people?" It shows multiple greens damaged at a local nine-hole muni and had 1,958 upvotes when checked, proving every community eventually develops its own support queue.
19TH HOLE INSIGHT
Joe Dean has a major, a caddie, and a wedding booked. He may not have a bed.
You don't need the full stack. You need a tee time and somewhere to sleep.
